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9.11.11

Leaning Closer

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
-Carl Jung


To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
-David Viscott

There is no remedy for love but to love more.
-Henry David Thoreau,

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My Shepherd is coming to me.

He is flying to spend the weekend in my town... to meet my family, my friends... to be with me here, in less than three days...

I love this feeling of anticipation. It's as though every part of me is leaning toward him... and I can feel him doing the same thing... leaning toward me.

My fingers long to touch his fingers, to trace his jawline, to thread into his hair. My lips long to kiss him, and my skin aches for the warmth of his skin. I yearn to hear the rhythmic sounds of his breathing, and to watch his mouth as he speaks my name. I need to see the gold flecks in his eyes, and that far off look he gets when he's just happy to be lying there beside me in silence. If I close my eyes he is here... as real as the keys at my fingertips, the weight of my own clothing on my skin. I open my eyes and I feel the universe shift minutely, as he leans closer preparing to move in my direction.

251 miles is not so far, when he is moving and I am moving. It only takes an hour to fly from there to here, or here to there. It is not forever. But for days I have been feeling his heart, his soul, his body leaning closer, groaning to begin the journey, moving... ever moving... in my direction.

I love him so. I need to breathe the same air he breathes, to have my breath mix with his and fill the room, the sky, the world... so combined and mixed that an alchemy occurs and our two breaths become inseparable. I need to know that somewhere in this world, even after he begins to move away and return to his home, that there is a part of us that cannot be divided, that will continue forever floating over the face of the earth. I need that.

I need him.

Soon.


 












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